I think I might shoot the next person who asks me this! I don't know why, but there is no question that gets under my skin like this one. Since G was about six weeks old (maybe earlier), I have gotten this question almost daily- often from complete strangers! I find myself stammering for a response every time. To me, there is something accusatory in this question...like if he's not, then there must be something wrong with him or wrong with the way we are handling bedtime. For the record, he is a securely attached, happy, healthy, five and a half month old who still wakes up a few times a night to eat. Here's how the conversation went today with a hospice worker at my grandma's house (I was there to pick up G after work, and I had been in the house for maybe two minutes):
HW: Is he sleeping through the night yet?
ME: Well, not really.
HW: Oh, is he still breastfeeding?
ME: Yes
HW (speaking to G): Oh, that's why you wake up in the middle of the night, you know that you'll get a treat.
ME: {laugh uncomfortably and excuse ourselves politely}
A TREAT???? What in the hell does that mean? Is she suggesting G isn't hungry, and he simply wants a "treat?"
So weird...
One friend has suggested I just say yes when people ask, but that doesn't feel like the right response. Maybe I am so sensitive because I wonder if our sleeping situation is still optimal for both of us.
A little background: My husband and I have very nontraditional schedules at this point in our lives. I am in graduate school two nights a week and don't arrive home until after 8:00, and he works late at his studio more nights than not. As a result, we often don't get to sit down for a meal until at least 9:00. Enter G man into the equation, and we just had to figure out something that allowed us to spend some time as a family and also kept me from having to truck upstairs to the nursery for feedings. Before he arrived, we thought we would use the co-sleeper, and he would sleep in our room. Within a couple of days, the stress of trying to keep the animals out of the co-sleeper, and my agitation at watching Sean sleep soundly (and snore loudly) through nighttime feedings was enough to make me move sleep time to the queen-sized bed in the nursery. And that is where we've been ever since. When not in a growth spurt (and not teething like he is now) G was sleeping from about 8-10 or 11 in his swing downstairs, and when he woke up, he and I would go upstairs. He would sleep for about 4-5 hours, eat, sleep about 3, eat, and sleep another 3.
For the past month, he is waking up more often. I attribute it to the fact that he is cutting teeth, and they are coming quickly! He has two, amazingly cute, bottom teeth, and he's working on more based on the fact that he is gnawing on his fist like it's going out of style! I am wondering if he would sleep better if we were not right next to each other. I am so in tune with him, that I semi-wake at his slightest whimper and whip out a boob without either of us fully waking up. So the question is- Would he just go back to sleep without eating if we weren't in bed together? I have tried a couple of nights where I put him in the crib after the 11 o'clock feeding, and then I still sleep in the bed in his room. When he wakes up the first time, I just bring him into the bed for the feeding, and we both fall asleep like that!
If anyone has transitioned from bed sharing to solo sleeping, I would love comments or suggestions. I don't mind our arrangement, but I am starting to have excruciating rotator cuff pain from the position I end up sleeping in. Plus, I'm sure Sean misses me!
Wow, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest. If you're still reading, thanks!
Peace,
Ellen
